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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

People in SGI have only SGI in common

"In the joint message by HSD [High School Division] leaders Yin Chung Keong and Anna Kang Pei Huon, they encouraged HSD members to study hard and make true friends.

It's apparently a problem all over, in other words, because for all their talky-talk, there's no genuine friendship within SGI:

Based on 20 years in the SGI cult and wasted years of time in the magic chant to the SGI no-honzon scroll, I can say that I never was able to make any real long term genuine friendships in that time and after leaving the cult. SGI members never wanted to meet up to do fun stuff like go sailing or play sports. In contrast, I have much better time meeting real life friendships in business and social groups that have zero religious spiritual basis. People in sailing clubs are more down to earth and fun to be with.

That's for sure. I noted the same thing. When I joined in 1987, there were so many activities that we were always together, but only in the context of meetings, practices, and other organizational activities. It was uncommon to do anything else, like even just seeing a movie. All normal social stuff was pushed way back in order to accommodate the SGI cult's incessant demands on our time.

SGI is like a workplace. People who work at the same place become "friends" because they're at the same place for long periods of time together and it's more pleasant and productive to be friendly. But when they get together, say for lunch, they all talk about the workplace - the politics, their coworkers, projects, etc. - because that's what they have in common. If one leaves for a different workplace, they may still get together for lunch once or twice with their former coworker friends, but they quickly find they have little to talk about except the old workplace. Their former coworkers can't talk about the new workplace, so getting together with them is always looking backward. They'll soon be replaced by NEW work friends from the new office.

It's the same with SGI. What passes for "friendship" in SGI is showing up for the same meetings and maybe chatting a little bit afterward or having a potluck after a meeting. It's calling each other to coordinate plans for a meeting. It's just like a "work friendship" - that's the only thing you have in common.

So if you quit, even if you just move away, there's nothing left to base a friendship in. I was surprised and hurt when I left where I started practicing - I'd been a YWD HQ leader and had felt I had close relationships with all the active YWD there - and no one wanted to keep in touch. One stayed in touch because she was trying to get me to pay her for "rolfing" (nope), and another got very nasty when it became clear that I now wanted a mutually supportive relationship instead of just petting and patting her like her own personal cheering section. When I brought up something I was interested in, she replied with, "Nobody wants to talk about that." It was just her and me; obviously I did! Yay SGI O_O

People in SGI have only SGI in common, nothing else. That, more than anything, demonstrates why a person who leaves should not expect to remain in contact with SGI people - once someone leaves, they no longer have anything in common, and it's what you have in common that forms the basis for a friendship."  -- Blanche Fromage

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